Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Reverse Culture Shock and Reflections on my journey *eye rolls*

So, long time no see.  Well, my time in VN is coming to a close as I leave in late July, so after that, I'll probably put the blog down because I will no longer be worthy of having a blog.  It's not like anyone can just blog--that's a bit vain don't you think?

This blog with be a hodge-podge of recent events.  Maybe I'll do it in the future but there were some blog posts I planned in my head but never felt like actually writing them.  They include a tourist itinerary for a home stay with me, a graduate student (yes I hate tourism industry here), so you can experience the traditional life of a minority student in the US and a Xe Om (motorbike taxi) Driver love advice column, based on real advice my xe om driver has given me over the last 10 months.


Okay, let's map this out, mainly for me.  1) My quick trip back home to Texas for my sister's wedding (click for pics) and 2) Some reflections on my stay here in VN.


In May, I flew home to Texas for a nice and hearty 5 nights.  Let me tell you, try to never fly that much in so little time.  23 hours to DFW and then 22 hours back.  From Tokyo to Hanoi coming back, I was literally freaking out and going insane from a combination of boredom, jet lag, and lack of sleep.  Yeah, would not recommend.  Being home was nice, if a bit surreal at times.  Even a simple trip to good ol' Walmart was an assault on my eyes.  I think we have a few of these supermarts in Hanoi but I have never been to one, sticking with the smaller markets, but it is just insane how much crap Walmart has in one building.  I just can't explain how it feels to see all of these things laid out in a harshly lit warehouse.  Basic things like driving and going to the mailbox were so eerily quiet.  You just don't know how goddamn loud Hanoi is until you walk outside in Texas.  It was peaceful but I think parts of me was wondering when the cars were going to hit me. 

Apparently, according to EAG, I now drive much more aggressively.  Usually, that wouldn't take much change as my mom says I drive like a old lady, but EAG felt her life was in danger.  At first I thought she was joking but it turns out she was not.  Hmm, Hanoi has rubbed off on me a bit. 

The Hanoian Assholery, it seems, has also seem to have an affect on me.  The wedding was in a small town, Marble Falls, Texas, and due to a "small" mix up, I was in the local Walmart. (*Side Story:  So my mommy was in charge of my groomsmen suit and bringing it to the site, since I would be just flying in 3 days before the wedding.  Anyways, the suit was misplaced and I didn't bring anything else to wear, so after a brief brouhaha, the only option was to, well, go to the local Walmart for a suit.  Turns out, the suit was there all along and was in someone else's room.  Hah Hah)

So while there, I got stared at a bit, and by a bit, I mean people would gaze at me for several seconds and follow my movements.  Being in a country where you are the majority, even if there are days where I stand out (though many days I do pass as Viet), for 9 months and coming back to small Texas towns is pretty jarring, as I am now clearly an "Other."  I think I straddle the line of normal and other here in VN, but it is pretty clear-cut in Marble Falls, Texas.  Also, I think pent up anger of foreigners staring and taking pictures of me here adds to this particular situation.  There was one cowboy who I thought was a bit over doing the "let's stare at the Asian guy" that I said out loud if he "had a problem, cowboy?"  Now, EAG was with me and bit mad at my loudness and attempt to "start sh*t," which I responded, "Am I the first Oriental he has ever seen?" to which she replied, "Probably, yeah."  I think the older version would be less angry and aggressive in tone--I would have probably said something but in a lighter, joking tone--but it seems the hard streets of Hanoi have made me rough and abrasive...so hard that I'll blog about it!  I also think I less patient and more likely to get mad at things.  Oh Hanoi.

*Another quick story--I was in the hotel near the wedding site and was getting my free waffle breakfast and at that time, I was then only Asian person there and getting stares from a bunch of old white people.  Then Mrs. Moosa, a friend of my mom who was helping out the wedding, says in her really loud voice, "it's Tony!  He just came from Vietnam!"  Yes, that was true, but now it seems I just arrived here by boat.  I speak English I swear!!*

As for emotional reflections, the way my parents raised me has basically limited my ability to reflect emotionally as we don't do that "white people" stuff.  I don't know what to say.  I've never been one to say that this is my motherland and I don't really have deep issues with who I am or where I belong.  VN has been great so far and has really changed my life, but the weird thing is, I'm not exactly sure what those changes are yet.  No offensive but I've seen other FB talk about how they exhibit growth in this and that (ability to learn, think, understand that there are different cultures (damn, it took a Fulbright Grant and thousands of taxpayer money to learn that!)), but it all sounds like fluff and stuff you say at job interviews.  I guess I have to think more about this part, though I may just keep it to myself, because it's my personal growth, not yours.  Get your own.

I'm really mean now.
tony