Baby Massages and Happy Endings in Viet Nam

Just a reminder--please read the statement to your right about how I do NOT represent anyone important.  This post will contain some sexual content, though nothing explicit and I would rate this as a PG-13 post at the most (I'm a prude).  So if you are younger, please ask your parents to review the post before continuing, or most likely, look over your shoulder to check where they are and keep on reading.  It really isn't that bad so I don't want to hype it up with the promise of Extreme Oriental sex.  That's next week's post.

This post, to my knowledge, is "true" as I remember it.  EAG, EAG's Mom, and my Mom...read at your own risk.  If you find this offensive or inappropriate, just remember this is reality for some people and try not to judge.

There, all the politics out of the way.  This post will be about my encounters with three female masseuses in Viet Nam, who turned out to be female sex workers.  I know a lot of work has been done on this subject (Nguyen-vo Thu-Huong's The Ironies of Freedom: Sex, Culture, and Neoliberal Governance in Vietnam and

Commercial Sex Workers: Condom Use and Its Correlates Among Female Sex Workers in Hanoi, Vietnam by Trung Nam Tran, Roger Detels and Hoang Phuong Lan come to mind) so I don't think I'm doing anything groundbreaking but I find it an interesting yet depressing subject.  These events have lingered in my mind for quite awhile so I'm just going to write about it.
 

My adventure started about last week when I was in Ho Chi Minh City (HCMC aka Saigon) and my cousins took me to a massage parlor .  I have gotten massages before in Viet Nam, both in HCMC and recently in Hanoi but for some reason, this was quite an interesting week.  The first of three massages started normally--I was lying on my stomach while the female masseuse did her thing on my back and legs, a combination of Thai, Swedish, and Acupressure techniques, while I am wondering how such a small woman is able to produce such massive amounts of force.  After about 30 minutes of pain/pleasure (though my ego didn't allow me to show it), she (I don't know her name--Sorry!) flipped me over and started to work on the other side of my legs.

Here is when it gets fishy.  She started talking to me.  Normally, my conversation with masseuses amount to "Hi," "No, that's not too hard," and "Thank you."  I tend to let the massage and money exchange do the talking and save therapy/conversation for other situations.  But this masseuse was pretty forceful in engaging conversation.  Unfortunately, I talked to her a bit before we started in Vietnamese and had been responding to her instructions so there goes the "I have no idea what you are saying option."  So, what's the harm I thought.

M: So, how old are you?
Tony:  I'm 24.  How old are you?
M: 21.  Where are you from?
T:  USA (USA! USA!)
M:  Have you been to Vietnam long?
T:  No, not that long, only 2 months.
M:  Oh, do you like it?
T:  Yeah, it's been nice.
M:  Where do you live?
T:  I live in Hanoi.  I'm studying and going to school there.
M:  Oh wow.  That's nice.  Do you have any siblings?
T:  Yeah, an older and younger sister.  You?
M:  Yeah, I have a younger sister.  [I think...I may have messed up this detail with another person.]  So, is your older sister married?  Any babies?
T:  No, not yet.  She's getting married in May.  And no babies, not yet.

Pretty innocent right?  Just working it, trying to make is personal so I tip more.  No shame in that.

M:  So do you have a girlfriend?

Hmmm....this conversation might be taking a turn.

T:  Yes.  I'm actually married.  [Me trying to be proactive]
M:  Oh, how long?
T:  Two years.
M:  What nationality is she?
T:  American.
M:  Where is she right now?
T:  America.
M:  Oh you must miss her a lot.
T: Yeah, I guess [HAH.  Just joking EAG...].  Do you have a boyfriend?
M:  Yeah.
T:  What do you guys do for fun in Saigon?
M:  Oh, you know, go out, dance, you know, have a good time.  If you're in Viet Nam, you should have a fun time right?  Even if you're wife isn't here.

T: Sure. [I was a bit unsure how to answer that--she said it awkwardly]
M:  Yeah, in Viet Nam you should have lots of fun..
T:  Yes....

I think this should be about the time that I mention that she's massaging my inner thighs through most of this conversation (I'm wearing boxers in all of these situations) and, let's be honest, getting real close to "special" area.  And me, being naive and hiền as hell (hiền - kind, gentle, meek with underlying currents of naive) just now realized she's been trying to get a rise out of me--literally.  (I remember this moment very clearly because I thought "This bitch is trying to make me have an erection!"  Ahem, excuse the language).

Anyways, my body has now become a battlefield (Oh, my body is being exploited!).  On one end, is my Me and my brain, and on the other end is tiny, Sexy Asian female in short skirt with really soft skin.  Between us is land we are trying to conquer, also know as my "crotch."  Whoever occupies this land has the high ground advantage in this battle.  So for about 2 (probably shorter but it seemed like FOREVER) minutes of both of us staring at my nether regions, I am proud to say that I won (? I think some would say I lost).  And I'm not saying this to sound like a holier-than-thou good guy who is ashamed of sex, but this situation was very uncomfortable for me:  I don't even know this girl, I can barely see her face (no glasses), and like I told her, I'm "married" (really long-term relationship).  Also, I began to think about everyone else here, how many handjobs are being done right now, and if my masseuse washed her hands.  Call me weird but this is not exactly my preferred method for arousal.  I even got cocky (pun?) at the end thinking to myself, "Yeah, you ain't getting nothing!"  (How many guys are proud they didn't get an erection?  I am SO hiền.  I think my mom would get a laugh out of that.  Yes, I have a slightly unique relationship with my mother.)


After awhile when she realized she was getting rejected (no offense to her, she was very pretty--just not the right conditions) she finally asked me if I wanted my baby to be massaged.  Again, me being naive, I asked her "What?"  "Your baby!"  "I don't have a baby...?"  "No."  She then pointed to my "baby" and I, of course, decline although slightly embarrassed.  I was also confused because we were just talking about babies when she asked about my sister, so that's another turn-off.  Incest is not high on my list....


Afterward it was pretty awkward, I think for both of us--I doubt I was the first one to ever decline her but I think she was somewhat surprised and this had never happened to me before.  We somewhat continued our converstation while she popped my scalp by pulling on my hair.  Yes, painful and as a person who is slightly balding, a very scary moment.  From this experience, I keep thinking about her comments about "having fun" in Viet Nam even if my "wife" isn't here--how many people do this?  How many married men do this?  I don't want to judge and it is not like I'm completely disgusted by it--I will admit I am a young, virile man who hasn't even seen his girlfriend in person for almost 3 months so I'm not going to act like a saint and say that little red devil didn't appear and whisper in my ear.  But still, ultimately the decision was not that difficult...so hiền!


I was invited again to go to another massage place and I wanted to decline but...I really do like the massages.  Also, I was a bit curious and more "experienced" this time.  My masseuse, number 12--because this job isn't degrading enough--was another small, cute, short-skirt wearing, soft skinned Vietnamese woman.  And as expected, our converstation followed the same route, although this time I told her I wasn't married but did have an American girlfriend.  However, Number 12 here was a bit more aggressive in her attempt to massage my baby.  And when I mean more aggressive, I mean she didn't ask and just went for it.  Here comes a "too much information" or TMI as the young kids call it these days, so watch out.

The first time she grabbed "it" over the clothes, me being hiền again thought it was an accident.  I wasn't a strong grab and maybe she just brushed it by accident.  It happens.  Second time, it was not an accident as it felt more premeditated (How I know this, I'm not sure but you weren't there were you?  It was a "gut" feeling).  So I told her straight up then that I did not want a baby massage.  And of course she pulled the "What, you DO want your baby massaged?" technique and I responded with an exasperated "What?  No!" that may have been paired with a slight grin because the way she said it was kind of funny--think stereotypical California Blond in Vietnamese.

So the third time she grabbed it, I grabbed her hand so now both of us are holding on to my junk.  I repeated my request of "No," and she a few cute "C'mon...," shifted to a cute pout, and then after five or six exchanges started mocking my "Noooooooo."  She finally released her death grip and continued the massage, with a few, "Are you sure??" thrown in here and there, which where met with eye rolls and "Nooooo." 

However, even though this was much different than my first encounter, I decided to ask more questions about her and her job.  I learned that she is 22 and has been working as a masseuse for two years.  I then asked how often does that happen.  She said I was her first (YEA every man's dream to be a woman's first) to turn her down and that everybody that comes here gets their baby massaged.  I asked how much a tip usually is and she said it ranges from 200,000 (10 dollars) to up to 500,000 (25 dollars).  I then asked her if she did anything else and she said sometimes she gets invited to spend the night with some men.  She didn't go into much detail and I didn't press this issue.  She also revealed that these massage places are very popular with Vietnamese, Korean, and Japanese business men.

I then asked her if she liked her job and she replied, "Not really."  She has a piggy bank that she puts all her tips to save up for cosmetic school and she hoped to do hair or nails in the future.  I asked her if she had a boyfriend (This is a very common question in Nam) and she said no because it was very hard to get a boyfriend because everyone knew what masseuses do in Viet Nam.  (In retelling this story to a fellow Fulbrighter, he said this massage session quickly turned into a therapy session).

The converstation turned to me and she said it was very weird for a person with a significant other be so loyal when they are far apart.  She said I was very cute and had a hiền face, which she then preceded to pinch my cheeks multiple times and repeat how hiền I am.  Funny thing is I think she kind of liked me, which, I mean, is no surprise to me (have you seen me?).  So if you want to seduce a Vietnamese masseuse, act really innocent and reject her.  Though I do find it sad that I am one of the nicest people she has met on the job and loyalty is weird to her.  I asked her what her name was and she gave me her middle name, Thiền, which is the same as my little sister...

As we said our good byes, I have her a 150,000 tip, which surprised her since that was very high for her, and I quote her, "having done nothing."  I don't know if her piggy bank is real or she just suckered me with her story but I honestly hope the former is true.  If not, she got my seven dollars.

The last encounter happened in Hanoi and is perhaps the most weird.  I decided to be married again but this time I let my masseuse fill in the other blanks.  When she asked me what nationality I was, I told her I was Filipino but she didn't know what that was, so after guesses of Korean, Japanese, and Taiwanese, we settled on Singaporean.  When asked what I did, I told her I was a teacher and for some reason, she asked me if I taught dance.  Well, I do now.  Which kind?  After salsa and tango, hip-hop just sounded right.  So today I was a married, Singaporean hip-hop dance instructor.

Mỹ, my masseuse, is 20 and she has been working in the business for a couple of months.  Originally, she is from the countryside and she is only working here to save up money to go to school.  (I guess this is the Vietnamese version of "I was a stripper to pay for college").  Similar to Number 12, she has difficulty in finding a boyfriend and apparently Hanoi men tip much less, ranging from 100K to 400K.  She actually gave the best massage out of the three.  Her technique of asking the dreaded question was a quick tap on the package.  After I said no, she took it stride and spent more time on my legs since I was a dance instructor (Yes, I felt bad for lying now.) 

I also thought she was the cheeriest one out of the bunch, but she was also the youngest and had the least work experience.  I didn't ask about if she did other services as it didn't feel right so I'm not sure about her exact situation.  Though, when I told her my "wife" was American, she got a little peeved--She told me I should stick with SE Asian women because they were smaller and cuter.  Like No. 12, she was also surprised how loyal I was towards my wife--she also commented on my face being very cute and hiền and pinched my cheeks.  Maybe I just have fat cheeks.

She also kept asking me about if somebody told me what to do.  I kept saying this was all my decision to turn down the "full experience" and she eventually credited it to my hiền-ness.  We said our goodbyes and I wished her luck on getting her education.  Again, a relatively big tip surprised her and I really do want her to be happy.

Well, this post is really long so I'll just wrap it up now.

tony



   

 

Food

They call it a "hamburger" (I'm not sure I'm spelling that right)

Fruits

A quick note about the food here--I apologize about not taking pictures of my culinary adventures but I already standout enough so I don't think taking pictures of my food will make things any better.  Also, I think me taking pictures of the "exotic" street food is like a person in the States going to Taco Bell, taking pictures of her mexican pizza, and then using the photos as a source of cultural capital.  Because noodles are somehow more photogenic here.

The first couple of weeks here I was pretty adventurous, eating at random street joints and ordering things I really didn't know what they were, but everything was delicious and cheap.  However, my digestive system and tongue are apparently two separate entities and I won't share too many details but I gots what Dave Chappelle calls the "mud butt."  Not unexpected as I brought the jumbo-sized Pepto with me, but not a wonderful experience.  Anyways, after that I settled down and started to eat with the family I live with, who while won't be scoring perfect scores on health inspection checks, is much cleaner than the streets (or so I thought...more on that later).  Nowadays, when I do go out, I usually visit "Western"/Non-Vietnamese food places to hit some of my cravings (Hamburgers, fish and chips, philly cheesesteak, pizza, fish and chips, and Indian (which was quite good and cheap too)) which is somewhat weird as I am in Hanoi but whatever.

Still, having someone buy and cook everything for you is terribly convenient--I read, watch movies, write, research, then come down to eat.  Then back to work or go out.  Done.  I feel it has made me a bit sheltered as I'm not at the market haggling for a dollar off cabbage but I would rather do other stuff than, you know, worry about feeding myself.

There are some negative aspects of this arrangement though.  I find that many Vietnamese families believe a strong man is one who eats an outrageous amount of food.  In fact, I think that's number 2 in my Dad's list for men who can date/marry my sisters-- A big appetite (number one is "not black"...Hah, I joke.........).  So while I would have probably liked this when I was a bit younger when my metabolism was a bit quicker, right now I am struggling.  Minimum serving at lunch and dinner: 2 bowls of rice, two servings of each meat dish (1/4 lbs per serving--there are normally two meats so four servings), two servings of vegetables, 1 bowl of soup (which has vegetables, broth, and another meat/fish), and 2 different types of fruits (generally a banana and 2 small servings of another fruit).  And they still yelled at encouraged me to eat more.  One of the customs in many Vietnamese houses is 1) the host should offer the guest as much food as possible and 2) the guest to show respect and eat a lot.  Not good for tony's heart.

At first, I was eating 3 meals (breakfast is much smaller but still heavy in my opinion--2 fruits, bread (a 6 inch french loaf), sometime eggs, meat, and sticky rice (Xôi (soy)) 

Usually xôi comes wrapped in a banana leaf and then newspaper (sanitary I know) but this one came wrapped in this paper.  Xôi and seismic readings for only 5000 dong (25 cents)

but I physically couldn't do it.  At the end of each meal I found myself moaning and I think quite possibly on the verge of death.  There were many days where I honestly didn't do anything because I was falling into a food coma.  So I started skipping breakfast (which I usually do/or just eat some fruit) which gives more room for lunch and dinner, but I think it makes them push harder since I didn't eat breakfast.  You get what you can get I guess.  I learned some tricks though.  Before, I would just eat in a smooth and quiet manner, i.e. wait for everyone to get meat (it's served family style) and then sneak in and grab some.  I found out that even though I was eating a lot, it wasn't registering as the family didn't notice I was eating.  So now I make very exaggerated motions to say "Hey, I getting some meat!"  (Hmm that doesn't sound right...).  I also hold my bowl close to my face to hide the contents of my bowl--sometimes it is empty or has a small vegetable that I nibble on and this gives me a chance to "rest" before I shove my face full of food again.  

There was a point where I was like, "Okay, just say no."  So one day I did when the wife tried to make me finish a bowl of soup (it was the serving bowl ~ 2.5 cups of liquid, veggies, etc.).  She really egged me on, but I stood my ground.  She then say, "Fine" and proceed to drink/eat the entire bowl in front of me in under a minute.  Total emasculation.  I remember this moment because I was thinking..."Oh Hell no."  So the next day I picked up my game and took her out.  Finished everything.  No leftovers, no prisoners.  Which is kinda of bad because now they know I'm capable of eating a lot and provide more pressure but at least I have my manhood.  Oh, I'm that competitive.


They also make fun of how I eat.  I eat with my mouth closed, bite noodles clean instead of slurping, and usually don't talk with my mouth full since, well, it is like the first thing we learned in school.  Viet Nam doesn't have that rule and they slurp, gnaw, and smack away while telling a story.  One time they joked they should eat like tony and after about 20 seconds of silence, the wife decided, "well, maybe your mouth can open a little bit."  This was said, of course, with her mouth full. 


On a different note, I discovered that I really, really love pork fat.  Before, I wasn't anti-pork fat but it wasn't a large portion of my diet.  Here, however, pork is king and everywhere there is the king, his delicious, seductive, yet obese mistress, pork fat, is always present.  She (yes pork fat has a gender) is either rendered and coating vegetables, defeating the whole purpose of the veggie's nutrition, or in its pure, white, and smooth form that gives a bit of chewy resistance but effortlessly melts in your mouth.  Contrasting this soft texture is the crisp skin that gives a nice crunch with a deep, almost burnt (but good), smokey pork flavor.  Ugh, goes straight to my hips.  It is the sole reason that I started jogging in the park.


I also live down the street from a french bakery with croissants for 40 cents each.  Huge, flaky croissants.  Cheap, Delicious, and Convenient.  Also known as Dangerous.  I also been drinking lots of coffee with condensed milk because it is everywhere and cheap.  I usually pick a general direction and walk and less than a minute there is a coffee shop.  My favorite is by the Army Museum, quite popular with Communist soldiers, and has a random table with a picture of Girl's Generation.  Tea here is good but absurdly strong.  Seriously, for a small pot they put a handful of tea leaves.   


Oh one last note.  A few days ago I decided to invite myself to go shopping with the live-in maid of the house at 6:30 am and well it was an interesting experience.  First, she joked I would distract people because I was weird-looking.  Hah.  She was right.  Every woman behind the counters asked about me:  "Where are you from?  Who are you with?  Are you with her (the maid)?"  I did get a lot of smiles...if only I were single, man, I would hitting up that market...to get discounts on fruit. 


We then went straight to the meat table (a literal table with meat) and she went STRAIGHT into the raw chicken.  The butcher gave her a bag, which the butcher placed STRAIGHT on the raw meat.  The maid then used her chicken hands to pack the bag.  She then handed me the bag to hold, which of course I did (Mental note: wash hands!  Don't touch your face!--of course my eye started itching).  We went to the vegetable "section" and she and her raw chicken hands went STRAIGHT into everything.  After that, we were going home when she grabbed my elbow and said to wait because she forgot to buy something (Mental note: wash elbow!).


I knew this probably happened all the time but it was better when I didn't know for sure (Oh, you're paranoid tony, they know better).  They do have this anti-bacteria veggie/fruit washer thing and seem to cook everything thoroughly (even if they boil chicken to death twice, but that's a good thing looking back), but man...that's RAW chicken you're flinging around there.  I may sound like an elitist here but I don't think many people understand concepts of basic biology or the idea of bacteria/viruses and how they are spread.  Even many students/professors who are pursuing or have a college degree seem to ignore basic notions of sanitary living  (granted most are in the film/humanities field, but still...).  I see people on the street washing dishes with limes, which is better than nothing, but citrus acid only goes so far.  Though, with bacteria evolving to become more resistant due to the use of anti-bacterial products, maybe they know better.  Or not, it's raw chicken!  


Again no pics at the market because do Americans take pics at Wal-mart?  Well, judging from facebook, yes they do but not of the produce.


tony

The Owl and the Sparrow

Panda Express and PF Chang's are two restaurants that come to mind when I think of authentic Asian cuisine, as in "authentic Asian food is NOT Panda Express or PF Chang's."  The notion of authenticity, in this case, is useful as I can guide you away from "imitation" Chinese food (or just bad food in general) and hopefully towards greener rice pastures...err paddies.  In a broader view, labeling something's authenticity or "realness" is a way many of us differentiate between cultures --this is authentic Vietnamese food, thus you are experiencing a different culture from X and getting a real foreign/"other" experience, not, in my case, "Americanized" food (assuming you are not Vietnamese).  Authenticity a form of discourse that makes cultures distinctive from each other by defining them and promoting what is the rightfully "real" or wrongfully unauthentic.  You could argue a positive for all of this is that it has stopped the complete collapse of global cultures into one homogeneous mass culture or that it provides a way to recognize other cultures.

However, this concept severely limits our views on culture as it is a form of essentialism; when I say this is real Vietnamese food, there is an implication that the entire culture and nation of Viet Nam prepares and presumably enjoys the dish, which is obviously not true.  Even Viet Nam's most famous dish, pho, is prepared and eaten in different ways depending on your location (spice blend, noodle size, condiments, herbs, etc.).  As much as the Ministry of Culture would like, there is unfortunately no such thing as a single, homogeneous, and authentic Vietnamese (or any) culture.  Ministries of Culture don't work because culture is a constantly shifting, multiplying, and hybridizing force--it is difficult to really control and confine to one definition.  In Viet Nam's case, I don't think you can discuss Vietnamese culture without mentioning the various regions and ethnic groups within Viet Nam, nor could you without touching on influences from French, Chinese, and American culture (to name a few), who in turn, were influenced by others (British, Spanish, Christianity, etc.) and so on. I believe arguments about what is more authentically (insert culture) misses the point X's culture is a complex hybrid that varies with location and time and there are multiple ways to express one's culture.  In theory, there is no "authentic" culture.

The reason I am blabbering about this subject is because I have been sitting in some screenwriting classes at my University and the professor is pushing his students to create  "authentic" Vietnamese films.  This, according to him, means ignoring and opposing Hollywood and other Western influences and making a film that is uniquely Vietnamese.  Generally, I disagree with him because of the reasons above; one of his examples of a strictly "Western" director is Quentin Tarantino, which, similar to my Viet Nam example, cannot be discussed without mentioning Asian Kung Fu and Blaxploitation films.  (I think David Murphy in his discussion of African Cinema makes a good point that "if we follow this argument [of completely opposing Western Cinema] to its logical conclusion, then all [non-Western] films are 'inauthentic' or 'Western' simply because cinema was first invented in the West" (Murphy 28).  I suppose we will also have to take the pleasure out of non-Western cinema too.).

Yet, there is a part of me that doesn't blame him.  I think his desire for real Vietnamese films is similar to many calls by flaming liberals in our elitist Universities to produce more "positive" or "real" representations of homosexuals, Asians, African Americans, Women, etc. in media, history, literature, and so on.   On a personal level, I also don't want to see just Vietnamese imitations of Hollywood films, where viewers would think these films are a knockoff of HW pictures.  I would like to be some kind of Vietnamese aesthetic in cinema and for this distinctive style to be recognized on a global level--"Oh, that is Vietnamese cinema."  I think it was hard for me to completely reject the idea of authenticity because I am Vietnamese (I'm not exactly sure what percentage but it's there somewhere) and I believe we all have our opinions on how our culture (Hispanic, homosexual, women, whatever) should be presented and expressed.

We were then shown the film The Owl and the Sparrow (2007) by director Stephane Gauger as an example of a "Western" Vietnamese film.  It has been around for a couple of years but not many small films come to Texas (it is now available on Netflix).  Gauger is an interesting fellow; his mother is Vietnamese and his father is American (either of French or German descendant--there are two conflicting sources) and he was born in Saigon, Viet Nam, but moved to California at the age of five.  His education focused mainly on the technical area of film (lighting, camerawork) and he has worked with Tony and Timothy Bui (Three Seasons).   

The Owl and the Sparrow, Gauger's first film, is about three strangers meeting in Ho Chi Minh City: a country-side young girl who has run away from her job in her uncle's window blind factory; a 2nd-generation (possibly even more) zoo keeper who's fiance recently left him; and a lonely and depressed female flight attendant due to the fact that she has no love prospects in sight.  Throughout the whole film, I kept thinking, "This isn't Vietnamese..."  There were some instances where I thought Gauger captured some essence of Viet Nam--the clutters of trash interspersed with the modernity of HCMC, the chaotic and noisy traffic, and the hand-held camera work gave the film a slightly gritty feel (though I think the 50,000 dollar budget had more to do with that).  Nevertheless, I felt overall I was watching an American film: The story seemed to me like an universal (heterosexual) love story (I won't share the ending but I think you know where this is going) that could have occurred anywhere; stylistically it just felt like an American indie film with its hand-held camera work; and its ending, with musical score and all, produced a Hollywood feeling.

The film for the most part avoids politics and  Viet Nam's history, which is not exactly a bad thing since most Vietnamese films up until 2003 only dealt with those issues and those weren't exactly popular with a country full of young people who never experienced the war and turmoil like past generations.  (Since the film was being filmed in Viet Nam, it did have to be approved but Gauger says he did not have to change anything from the original screenplay.  However, this approval must have been in the back of his mind when constructing the script and in an interview he acknowledges that violence, politics, and sexual topics are "the three no nos" (qtd in Stone).)  Even the issue of poverty, which he does deal with the most--the young girl lives on the  street and sells flowers while avoiding people who "capture" children for orphanages--is glossed over by the romantic storyline. 

But I think I got too wrapped in the professor's use of the words "authentic" and "real" and some of my desires/thoughts positioned HW/Western films as normative, making non-Western film abnormalities (Sigh...so hard).  Instead of the idea of authentic vs. unauthentic, it is helpful to imagine film as an universal language with different accents and dialects, similar to James Potts or Hamid Naficy.  In this sense, like language, everyone speaks with an accent; so while there will be a dominant language(s) (classical and new HW), we don't have to necessarily place it in the center.  We shouldn't be expecting a completely different cinematic language from films around the globe, but, rather, we should focus on how these groups adapt film codes to their specific culture to produce an language that contains both domestic and foreign words.  For better or worse, I think The Owl and the Sparrow is a low-budget Hollywood film with a Vietnamese accent.  (Because of this, the fact that some people say it is an art film annoys me--speaking a different language and showing a foreign city does not make it an art film.  I think some focus on the "exotic" aspects while ignoring the films plays out like a HW film.) 


I think a lesson I got out of this is that while we should avoid the "authentic" debate and aim towards exploring cinema and culture as multifaceted, complex, and perpetually fluctuating objects, as my reception of the film shows, the concept should still be considered because perceived and imagined ideas about authenticity are very powerful and still affect us, even if we try really hard to ignore it.

On a personal note, although I have ragged on the film, I actually enjoyed it.  Yes, it is not full of depth, somewhat sappy, and very, very predictable.  But, after watching some of these films where everyone is poor and dying in wars, it was kind of a nice change.  We academics don't always have to complain and pout all the time, do we?  I enjoy cute and simple movies from time to time.  Plus, I always find that after 3 months of not seeing EAG, I start pining more...

tony



Murphy, David.  "Africans Filming Africa: Questioning Theories of An Authentic African Cinema." Transnational Cinema: The Film Reader.  Eds. Elizabeth Ezra and Terry Rowden.  New York: Routledge, 2006.  15-26.

Stone, Judy. "Stephane Gauger on 'Owl and the Sparrow.'"  SF360.org. San Francisco Film Society, 9 Feb 2009.  Web.  15 Oct 2010.

Ratatouille 2: Journey to Viet Nam

Here is a suggestion to Pixar: make a sequel to Ratatouille and have the rat come to Viet Nam.  The French have a long history in Viet Nam and made a very deep impact on the Viet Nam's culinary scene.  The film could also deal with many "post-colonial" and political issues that I'm sure kids are waiting for to be addressed in a computer-animated form.

What inspired this idea is that during lunch yesterday, a rat ran through the kitchen and climbed up onto the counter.  My landlord, giving chase, tried to kill it but the rat went into the stove (one of these medium-sized portable gas stoves).  He then tried to flush it out by turning on the stove tops--as much as I dislike rats, I did think that was kind of cruel but I bit my tongue; actually, living here you have to suspend any belief about animal cruelty--but Ratatouille was nowhere to be seen...He just wanted to cook!  Anyways, they recommended I try rat as it is a specialty and better than chicken (the pic above is from the web) so I shall put that on the list.  We then ate lunch in silence while staring at the stove.  Maybe they should make one of those short films they show before some of their movies because I don't think Ratatouille will last long in Viet Nam.

A Few other notes:

Weasel coffee in Viet Nam is different from cà phê Chồn (Kopi luwak) : cà phê Chồn refers to coffee beans eaten and digested from the Civet, while what is called Weasel Coffee in Viet Nam is actually beans eaten by another animal and is just regurgitated, not fully passed through the digestive system.  Weasel coffee is much cheaper and more available, although apparently you can get cà phê Chồn that is artificially made using the same enzymes in the Civet's digestive system.  I may have to splurge but I am drinking this stuff!

Also, another reason not to eat dog.

A followup on the 1000 year Anniversary of Hanoi.  I thought the Vietnamese Government did an outstanding job in planning and executing this celebration.  I fully support the Vietnamese Government in this case.

However, some very dumb people disagree with me.  It was rumored that the Government spent around 40 million dollars for this celebration and, well, let's say some people didn't see where that 40 million dollars went.  Overall, some people thought the celebration was boring and felt it was an older man's nostalgic view of what a "partay" should be.  Traffic was horrible, construction was rushed in many areas, outdated stages and equipment were placed throughout the city, and the events were dull and dry (old trees and rocks can only go so far) and only focused on the more ancient "traditional" aspects of Hanoi, ignoring the current environment.  People went to these events, but when they got there, they just walked around.  There seemed to be no attempt to make Hanoi's anniversary a more global, or even national, event, nor was there any sign of looking forward, a missed opportunity to showcase Hanoi's plans for growth and evolution in the next 1000 years.  I think many people liked celebrating their history, but perhaps it was difficult to relate to some of these traditions.

There was also a very unfortunate accident when a firework setup exploded in Hanoi.  This was censored by the government in the news (online, TV, print) so I won't tell you that it killed 4 people.

fun...

I am impressed by their flower arrangement skills.

 

And this is the traditional áo dài, a national reminder of our history, culture, and...hold on, I got a text.  I actually love this picture. 

tony

My Quest for Films

So I am still on the trail digging up these, let's say "low-demand," government films, and it is somewhat frustrating to see Dougie Howser's face at 80 percent of these DVD stores (Really, who is bringing these into the country) while I am on store 7 looking for one film.  In theory, the film archives of Vietnam should have the film.  However, there is a steep charge to watch them (4 subway foot longs per hour - on a Steenbeck, no less...) which I think is a bit expensive, so I am trying to gather as many films as I can and using the archives as my last resort.

Now, some of the stores I visit sell pirated copies of HW films, and when I say some, I really mean all.  But since I am being funded by the Fulbright Program and State Department, I would never use the money provided to me for anything illegal and I am, like totally, disgusted by this.

But IF I did buy something, it would totally be Mad Men (Seasons 1-3) for 7 dollars because I heard it was a really good show.  And I heard it was a really good quality version.  Dexter Season 4 for three dollars would probably be a good choice too.  Battlestar Galactica would be great too.  And they have a huge Bollywood section.  But IF I did this, I probably wouldn't spend too much since I most likely cannot take them home (they may get through security but is a 1 dollar disc copy of Machete worth it?) so I would probably give them away to my students.

On another note, I understand better Lawrence Lessig's proposition that media companies (TV in this case) should provide more "free" versions.  Hulu and NBC don't provide licenses to broadcast here in Vietnam...but guess what?  I can walk down the street and buy a show for 2 dollars - money you don't get which could have come from ads and commercials on websites/during the show.  In Hanoi, even if I wanted to, it is really difficult to find a legit copy of films and TV shows so the market here is almost non-existent--they're not gaining money here anyways.  Allow the shows to stream here and raise your viewership/website numbers.  Also, I'm mad because I can't watch The Office.  I guess I'll just wait for the bootleg dvd...if I did buy bootlegs which I don't.

Women want him.  Men want to be him.  So buy me.

1000 Year Celebration

So before I typed this blog, I was ironing clothes while listening to BoA and Katy Perry on Grooveshark (yes I would hand over my "man" card but I gave that away a long time ago) and paused to look outside my windows.  While it is cloudy, Hanoi weather has finally cooled off a bit allowing to open my windows and sit on my balcony to type or, in this case, iron my clothes.  I then had one of these holy moly "how the heck did I get here?" moments that occasionally hits me (G version).  I don't usually get emotional about my life--I'm more of a "whatever, no biggie, laid-back" person--but living in Hanoi has created some moments where I'm actually proud of myself and amazed that I am actually doing this...like ironing to Katy Perry in Hanoi, something I never thought I would ever do.

Anyways...in the first two weeks of October, Hanoi is celebrating the 1,000th anniversary of Thang Long-Hanoi, so adding to my experience is the fact that I am living in a city that is turning 1000.  While exciting as this event is and my luck that I am present during such a time, it has been both wonderful and horrible.  

Bad first:  it is kind of crowded.  And when I say crowded, I mean packed.  My friend and I tried to go eat at a place down the street from where I live.  Normally, 5 minutes walking time.  We got a quarter of the way there after 20 minutes, because once the street gets jammed, all of the motorbikes go onto the sidewalk.  So from building wall to building wall on the street were motorbikes.  We saw what was ahead and with heavy exhaust fumes in our lungs, said "oh, tuck this" (rather I said that, she said it Viet).  It took about 25 minutes to walk back, which was much harder to do since we were going against traffic and led to a couple of scratches on our legs from being scraped by shoes, metal parts, etc., and we ate somewhere else.

However, the city is really beautiful during this time and the government has really spruced the place up--think Christmas but more humid.  Here are some pics during a more calmer but still above-average busy time:

                                       

Doves for peace....(Right next to the Army Museum)

 I will admit it has distracted me from my studies...but what's the point of flying around the world and just studying?  You have to experience the culture right?  1000 years doesn't come around that often...

tony

Randon Stuff

I should probably blog more often so I am more coherent instead of just bottling up events and then trying to remember them after almost two weeks and end up with a huge post but here goes.  Another list:

1.  Dill is surprisingly, at least to me, a very popular herb here in Hanoi.  Funny story: Thì là, the name for dill, is supposedly  derived from the Vietnamese phrase đây là, which means "that is."  As my landlord told me, when asked by someone (most likely French) what that herb was, the Vietnamese people would say "that is..." but dill did not have an official name so people would stop talking and try to think of a name.  The French, however, assumed this was the name of the plant and everyone just ran with it.  Hence đây là shifted to the similar sounding thì là.  I know, I just made your mind explode with knowledge.


2.  Living in Viet Nam has made me really cheap -- apparently even more than I already was according to somebody who got new shoes and an ipod from me (EAG!! >O).  A meal on the street cost about 15000 to 25000 (80 cents to 1.20 dollars) and this is a hearty meal, not obese Chili's servings but still a pretty decent meal.  Even some of the nicer restaurants (you know, the one with actual chairs and an indoor dining room section) offer meals for 30 to 40K (2.00 dollars ish).  So after a month of so of these prices, going to a more "western" restaurant is like a mini culture shock: 70,000 for a sandwich!?  I mean, it is only $3.50 and I have no problem dropping 10 bucks (~198,000K dong) a plate back home, but still...70,000?!?  That just sounds so much worse.

3.  You don't have to speak Vietnamese to live here.  I read an article the other day that talked about how in Thailand, you HAVE to speak Thai since people just assume (white, black, etc) that you do.  Here, if you look different, they speak English, which kind of annoys me since I want to practice speaking Vietnamese (I still response in Vietnamese but still...)  As my previous post mentioned, I'm really dark compared to others here, I'm about a foot taller than the average Hanoian (it has been weird to stand in a room and be literally shoulders above everyone else - I'm "only" 5'9''), and everyone thinks I'm mixed with something - though I do like the surprise that people show when I talk or at least show I understand them...However, I found you can coast through Hanoi with much speaking ability.  I'm not sure exactly why or how this happens, but I'll figure it out.     


4.  It's weird that I'm not recognized by Vietnamese people as Vietnamese or even Vietnamese American, but also tourists and foreigners don't recognize me as American.  A couple from America asked me in very bad Vietnamese (even worst than mine!) what street they were on and I could not figure out what they were saying (Yeah I could have said earlier I spoke English but I wanted to laugh at them for a COUPLE of seconds) so in my "American" voice I asked them what they were asking and they seemed very surprised I spoke English.  Oh, woe is me, where do I fit in??  And I have father issues!  I should write a book.


5.  Papaya is a very sexy word - apparently, also very difficult for Vietnamese people to say and I find that it impresses the ladies on your pronunciation and tongue skills.  


6.  Coffee is really cheap here and I drink too much of it.  I am trying to find weasel coffee - cà phê Chồn.  It is the coffee where the Asian Palm Civet eats the beans and then poops it out, giving it an "unique" flavor due to the enzyme reactions during the digestive process.  I drove by a cafe named Cafe Number Two and I wondered if that was their specialty, or if they were just the number two store in their chain.  Yes, I made a poop joke and it is a real cafe.


7.  I can't manage to eat dog or cat.  Before, I believed if you weren't a vegetarian or vegan, you couldn't argue against dog or cat meat because you consume cows, fish, chicken, turkey, and a million other types of animals (whatever is in a hot dog, which man, I could go for a hot dog right now) so why is it any different?  I just think of my dog and can't do it.  Also, watching many kitten videos on youtube has made unable to eat cat.


8.  I do have more but this will be the last point for today:  From what I have heard, Obama is very well respected here...George W. Bush...not so much.  Of course this makes sense since Bush stands for FREEDOM while Obama is very well loved by a socialist country.  Hence, from my Fulbright Level knowledge, I conclude that Obama is a Muslim.


tony

Things I have Learned in Vietnam

1.  Nhung was right.  You do get used to the honking.  Now only really loud horns bother me (namely cars) but other than that, I just recognize somebody is there and don't get hit.  Easy as that.  Today I saw a comic with two people pushing shopping carts in a grocery store saying beep, beep, beep and I laughed.  Vietnamese humor.

2.  I am wayyy to dark.  Having dark skin is a sign of lower class in many Asian countries (You mean you actually go outside to do work and not hire someone else to do it?  You walk instead of taking a Lexus?  Hah, you're poor!) and even men around here sometimes walk around with an umbrella to avoid getting a tan (or avoid skin cancer...maybe they are just health conscious over here).  I don't care (because I'm American and I'm Richer than all of ya'll - actually not really...see number 3) and tend to walk around a lot, getting even darker than normal and because of this, a lot of people don't think I'm Vietnamese; I have heard Cambodian, Chinese, Laotian, and Filipino - I know, how insulting as I am clearly above those!  Then, when people ask me what I am and I tell them Vietnamese, they generally ask if my mom or dad is Vietnamese.  Now, I didn't piece this together until recently but they think I'm mixed with something.  So what should I be mixed with?

3.  Contrary to the Communist Manifesto, there are a LOT of wealthy people here.  Like Porsche and Bentley and (Real) Louis Vuitton.  I went into a Nike store a couple of weeks ago and Nike Free are 120 US dollars, about 35 dollars more than the US.  I always wondered how stores stay afloat but I guess someone is buying these shoes and purses.

4.  Vietnamese people are...how to say this nicely...rude.  Like I said in my car rant, you just don't take anything personal, it is just a different world but it does come off as rude in my opinion.  You throw trash on the ground.  Many restaurants just toss dirty water on the street, even if you are walking there.  They are more blunt and forceful.  A parking attendant was trying to grab people while they were driving motorbikes, trying to physically pull them in.  There are no lines, you just go to the front and yell as loud as you can (Fox News Technique). My taxi driver almost hit a pedestrian - it would have taken literately 3 seconds to brake and let him pass but the taxi driver accelerated.  It is just how they live.  Back in the States, I would know an Asian restaurant had good potential (more "authentic" you could say) if the service is horrible because that was an indicator they had people from Asia (unlike "good service" but nasty food PF Changs - Yeah I said it).  But here, it is much more to handle because it is everywhere.  (I'm also a bit of hypocrite - Once I was semi-late for a show and this taxi driver got us there early because he was being a major ahole on the road but that doesn't count because I was in the car.  Umm...ever heard of Fulbright?  Yeah.)

5.  That being said, Vietnamese people in the North are extremely nice.  What do you mean?  Unlike what people have told me (cough* mom and dad!! *cough), "North" people have been very helpful and generally don't try to rip me off or other foreigners, as far as I have seen.  I have brought food at the market for fair prices even though many of them know I'm not a local (too dark, heavily accented Vietnamese).  I can hear the prices they give to locals and it has always been the same.  When I have asked people for help (buying helmets, help translating, directions, etc.) I never had have a problem.  It is like totally opposite from their driving - when something is personal, they really try hard to help out.  Yes, not all people are angels and there are douchbags but those exist everywhere.        

6.  Lastly, I have improper chopstick technique.  I have never used chopsticks for this long consecutively and my finger joints hurt so I am doing something wrong.  It seems I have gotten away with it in America just on pure, natural chopstick skills but not I can't rely on that solely.

One pic, sorry for too much reading.

In the Army Museum - the "Puppet" Flag of Vietnam - Their words not mine so don't get all fussy.

tony

Film Stuff

I guess since I'm here doing a film studies project, I should talk about film.  When people ask me why the hell I am here, I tell them about my project and here is what I have heard about Vietnamese films: boring, amateur, too long, not great, not exciting like Avatar, not progressive, and so on.  I should note that these are mostly young people (under 22).  So as you can see, Vietnamese cinema is not doing so well in their own country, especially with youth.

Nevertheless, I proceeded to find some of these films to actually see them.  Marking my mental map, I plot a path to 5 dvd stores/"professional" rip and burn DVD to see what films I can find.  First store was Fox Movies, a very highly rated store by http://newhanoian.xemzi.com/, a popular expat review website.  "Sorry, we don't have any Vietnamese films."  Hmmm....not a good start but it makes good business sense.  If locals dislike these films, why would expats want them?  Okay, so I proceed to the next stop, Hollywood DVDs.  I was having doubts that a store named "Hollywood" would carry Vietnamese films but it was a much bigger store than Fox.  So I go up to the counter and ask if they have any films and show them a list.  They stared at me strangely and after a mini-conference (Do we? was passed around), they gave a very weak "yes."  So we went up the stairs to the second level and in a small box on the ground was their Vietnamese collection (every wall was covered with burned copies of the latest films).  Out of my list of 10 movies, they found 2 but that is better than nothing.  Strange thing is that they had the entire collection of Doogie Howser MD for 465 K (24 dollar-ish), five copies of WWE Wresting, Lost season 5 but only 2 of my films.  Hmmm.

After that, I decided one more place would be good enough.  I visited Victory CD and they were really nice.  I gave them my list and they found 3 more movies PLUS called another store and had someone run it over - Good service in Vietnam!?!?  All in all, I got 8 movies (I brought some older ones just to watch) for 120 K (6 dollars).  Just FYI, Hollywood movies are about 30 K each if you want to watch Date Night or Hannah Montana.  Yes no pictures.

Army Museum

These pictures are about 2 weeks old but let's ignore that fact and just pretend I'm not doing this late in a cafe that is playing Taylor Swift.  So here is the aftermath of my mosquito attack.  One leg had about 65 and the other had about 50 or so.  Luckily, these aren't Texas mosquitoes as these bites were very tiny red spots that itched very little compared to the ones I get in Texas.  However, since I did have 122 of them, they did have a collective effect and produced a very mild, yet annoying itch.  Still, it lasted only about 2 days and I either wrapped my legs with a wet, frozen towel or used itching creme like body lotion.

So later on that week, I went to the Army Museum which is across the street from where I live.  Overall, a very interesting spot and had a bunch of military vehicles (mainly U.S) as "trophies," I guess.  A very cool place to get my testosterone levels up.    

Mines and Booby Traps

Another Guillotine?  Boring...

War Art?

"Human Flesh containing Basket: French Colonialists had forced our folks to buy cut up flesh of their own cadres"

Here are some pics from the Hanoi Flag Tower:

Fulbright Briefings + Ha Long Bay

Last week we had "briefings" with the Fulbright Program and various people from the Embassy.  From my notes, this is what we learned:

The Government is probably monitoring my emails, blogs, and any internet activity I do for the first couple of weeks, just to check me out (so no email sexting!).  Then, most likely, they will leave me alone (with occasional check-ups) once they see I am just doing my film studies project.  If you're reading this, I sure do love Vietnam and their government!! (Also, I have been having problems accessing this site...)
Crossing the street is the most dangerous thing you can do and if not careful, you WILL die.
If you eat anything off the street, you WILL die.  (The Embassy doctor was a bit dramatic, but I guess he was trying to stress the importance of eating clean food).
If you go shopping for food on the street, you WILL die or get multiple viruses, bacterial infections, medical conditions, etc.
You will have a sore throat for the duration of your grant because of the pollution/smog/dust.  (This was good and bad news for me - I didn't know if I was getting sick with a cold but as it turns out, it is just the dust.  However, I have a damn sore throat for 10 months...).
If you do eat dog or cat, don't eat the brain because that is where rabies is concentrated the most.  (Good to know).
Presently, there are zero American political prisoners in Vietnam.  Hopefully, it will stay that way...
Generally, many topics are free to discuss in class (capitalism, democracy (to a point), religion, feminism, sexuality (to a point)) as long as you are not waving signs and/or attempting to organize.  Nevertheless, you should be careful.  Shouldn't be a problem for me because I hate democracy, right Government reader?



I also got to meet the other Fulbrighters and they are a very cool bunch: 3 scholars and 6 students (including me).  One scholar got his PhD from A&M and the other two scholars (they're married) live in Burleson, TX and teach in Texas Wesleyan and Baylor.  Whoop whoop for Texas.  Our topics range from tourism, law, economics, journalism, art (painting), new media (very interesting project on open-source software in Nam), medical equipment, architecture/urban development, and of course, film studies.

The next day we went to visit the Vietnam Maritime University in Haiphong (the 3rd largest city in Vietnam and the largest port in the North) and discussed the University structure in Vietnam.  Basically, it is reversed from the U.S. - The Government controls all of the funding, curriculum, and degrees (a centralized sturcture) as opposed to the schools having most of the control in the US.  Most schools are slowly transitioning to more Western/US curriculum but they still have to be approved by the Vietnamese Government--some schools, like the Maritime University, are copying curriculum in the US, except they remove some classes that are "unnecessary, like American History." There is also that small issue of protecting the freedom of speech of professors.  Minor detail.

After that we drove to Ha Long Bay, took a boat to Cat Ba Island and checked in a hotel:

 We also went "hiking" (well four of us did, the rest decided to chill on the beach) which turned out a bit more of hike/rock climbing up a 3 km mountain.  It was ridiculously hot at the top with the sun but it was well worth it.  Oh and wear mosquito repellent - I got 122 mosquito bites in those 2 hours after getting none in Hanoi.  Everyone who got bit in the city didn't get bit during the hike.


I must have good country-side blood.

top of the mountain

Our hotel with surprisingly bad beds

the easy part of the trail

tony