Bad things about Vietnam

The view from my hotel in HCMC, very similar to my life in Vietnam....so deep (from the lack of depth?) and emo.

Eh, it has been awhile...sorry.  I was busy not caring about this blog and doing other stuff like going outside.  And I left my sex post as the last one so maybe I should update at least once more.  So I read a report that FB and blogs make people more depressed because, surprise, we tend to lie and exaggerate the current state of our lives--we are in essence performing and creating an online public persona and I believe generally people want to be "cool" (do people still use that word?  I want to be up-to-date on my slang) and accepted among their peers.  So when other people see what awesome lives everyone is having, they get sad...kind of like when you get to college and you discover it's not like those zits & tits movies.  You know, how you don't go to parties every day and they usually end up in throw up or boredom rather than sex and how not only white people go to college or all black people at college don't have to play sports, and that women don't rip off their shirts all the time and, gasp, some of them are smart. Weird world.

So, this blog will discuss what a horrible time I am having in Vietnam, well, at least to the limit that I don't set off red flags and big mean men in gaudy green suits (seriously, you're communist, not color-blind--even Lenin would say "that green is a bit off....") come bursting through the door.

First, I can't breathe at night.  My nose literally fills with snot and clogs up.  I don't understand.  When I blow my nose, mucus comes out but four seconds later, more mucus comes in.  I don't know where it comes from or where it was being store that it happens that fast.  I take Clartin daily, use a saline solution spray everyday to keep my nose moist,  and brought a humidifier but nothing has worked.  I have searched for a neti pot/nasal cleaner in Hanoi but they don't seem to have one.  I made a make-shift one with a water bottle (see dad, 2 years of Nuclear engineering paid off) but it is not as good as I don't think it provides enough pressure (okay dad, so maybe I should  have studied calculus 3 harder...).  I also found out that discussing how to clean out your nasal passages is NOT an attractive topic to your significant other.   Anyways, I fall asleep with my mouth open, occasionally waking up because my brain is telling me, "please breathe more or you will die," and I end up with a sore throat in the morning.

I folded and brought "Western" medicine, aka  Oxymetazolin hydroclorid, which I have read that if you use this more than 3 times a week, you will become addicted, as in your nose will be unable to clear itself without this medicine.  I don't think that is a good thing and certainly not a long-term solution (I am a "My body is a temple and I try to limit the adding chemicals to it" type, though I make an exception for gummy bears.  But, I am not "I won't vaccinate my children cuz it causes Autism" type, though I did hear vaccines might make you die 80 years after you take them...did I just discover a link Jenny McCarthy?)  Slightly positive note is that I have an appointment with an Vietnamese doctor who practices Chinese medicine in a center named after the Japanese Budda of Medicine alongside with a Swedish Acupuncturist--very transnational and we'll see how that goes.

Another non-sexy topic is deworming. No, I do not have worms--at least I don't think so...I do eat on the street a lot...But a precautionary action to do while living in a third world country is to deworm yourself after 5-6 months.  So I have been taking 2 pills a day for 3 days of medicine that eliminates any worms in my digestive tract (Yeah, I rather have chemicals than worms in this case).  Just in case you were worried about my bowel movements.  I know EAG isn't worried about my nasal problems or my bowel movements.  An actual quote I said to her via skype: "Well, I got to go clean out my nose and deworm myself."  I'm a bit confused but I think she is no longer attracted to me anymore.  I don't know where I went wrong; I think that  somewhere between "I going to make booger water" and "I'm taking medicine to kill worm parasites in my lower digestive system that may or may not exist," the romance disappeared.

I blame it on the distance.  I would not recommend having a relationship with a person who is in a time zone that is 12 hours different from yours because it is getting a bit difficult, as in I just miss her.  I think the first couple of months was bearable but now it is just sappy.  As I was telling SaB, I spend all day in bed with my head resting on my forehead pining for EAG--so thank you taxpayers for supporting my pining.  (Though I shouldn't joke as I hear there are some big cuts coming from the Government.  And I should probably stop sending letters to Joe Barton...)  I'm not going dwell on this point, considering there are couples who go through tougher hardships (i.e. Soldiers in Afghanistan), but the point is I'm very lonely here sometimes and wish I had someone to use as a body shield  hug as I cross the street.

Worms...

 She's actually planning to come here in May (sorry, that's good news) and I been trying to plan out some dates around the town.  While there are a couple of spots I want to show her and I do love living in Hanoi, I find the food scene here, well, bland and disappointing.  For the city that invented Pho, it makes a pretty weak bowl of Pho.  Having eaten my fair share of pho, I think I can be a pretty good judge--I can tell you my mommy makes the BESTEST ever bowl of pho, though I think the general rule is that everyone's mommy makes the best bowl of pho, though my mommy's is the best--and while I understand pho is different everywhere (see my post on authentic Vietnamese culture), flavorless broth is flavorless broth.  And generally, I find Vietnamese people's taste in cuisine the same; they tend to repeat food choices and never venture outside their culinary bounds.  I love Indian food but it is very difficult to convince any friend to actually come with me and try Indian food, which Hanoi has a couple of decent spots.  In other types of cuisine, however, Hanoi is severely lacking and I'm not surprised since most Vietnamese people won't go to these places.

Example: I got some people to try Dim Sum from this Chinese/Viet joint.  Yet, once we were looking at the menu, they all got scared and ordered all Vietnamese dishes.  Overall, Dim Sum are mainly dumplings and generally speaking, Hong Kong/Chinese cuisine is not that revolutionary or different (I can somewhat understand hesitation to try Indian Food) from Vietnamese food--it's pork balls wrapped in wonton wrappers, which they have in Hanoi in soup, so I'm confused on where the fear comes from.  (Oh and the dim sum was horrible.)  I am not a picky eater, which is probably why I have to deworm (I'm really stretching out this deworming joke), and it frustrates me when people I hang out with limit my food choices--I usually visit places alone like a loser and they usually disappoint in the taste department.

Speaking of taste, my lower-middle class background rears its head every now and then and after watching the Super Bowl commercials, I was craving Doritos.  So I went to go get some and when I mean "some," I mean the imported kind which tastes closer to "home"--yes America and Freedom tastes like Doritos Cooler Ranch--and I don't mess around when it comes to Doritos.  Turns out, the store closest to my house that has them ran out and I learned a medium sized bag (300 grams-ish) (no they don't have the Super 8 pound bags here, or what Americans call "the small bag") is 78,000 or 4 dollars.  Not a big deal but 4 dollars for so little chips and early onset diabetes is a bit steep and the sad thing is I'm still going to buy them and eat them alone on my couch while watching Jersey Shore or Katy Perry on MTV Asia.

Typing Katy Perry's name, who is clearly a Feminist hero, has reminded me of my last point: my feminist attempts in Vietnam.  So far, no bueno.  I was talking to a female student in January about what she wanted to do after she finished college.  "Well I would like to be _________ and I think I would really enjoy doing it, but once I get married, I think I'll quit and stay home."  Beep Beep Beep, Feminist Alarm!  I responded (very angrily of course!!), "You know, you don't have to quit your job and stay home."  I was met with a very, very blank stare.  "Hmmm...what do you mean?"  Oh boy.  "Well, after you get married, you can still work.  There is no rule that says you have stay home.  If you like your job, you can continue to do it and then there will be more money that can help you and your family."  "But what happens if I have kids?  Who will take care of the house and kids?"  "If you have kids, your husband can help out. [She made the ???? face]  Last time I checked, Vietnamese men can wash dishes too. [Confused Laugh?]  Maybe you can work part-time [I can't reveal her job but I know it's really flexible] and your husband can stay home sometimes and watch the kids while you go to work.  I mean, it's okay to focus on your family, but I think if you enjoy your job, you shouldn't have to quit when you have a family."   "But...it's Vietnamese tradition..."  Oh, you can't argue with tradition...the converstation goes on but that fall back on Vietnamese Tradition argument is too strong for to break right now but maybe I should keep at it!


Anyways, I have more sad aspects of my life that I will try to keep for later.  Oh back to food.  Can SOMEBODY in Hanoi please learn how to make hummus?  Like good, lemony, tart, not watery hummus.  Please!! 

Feeling less depressed?

tony